A pandemic through a mother’s eyes.
I am not sure that I have the right words to describe how I’ve been feeling after a week of isolation with my family. This post will not be a fancy post with inspiration filled with pretty pictures- just words. This is my truth right now and I hope it resonates with your truth too.
A week ago, my biggest concern was logistics. How was I going to occupy a toddler and be productive at work? But, after a few days, I’ve had a big slap in the face of perspective.
Now, I can’t help but feel terrified. Terrified for my son’s future, for our future. Will we lose our jobs? Will the rest of my family be ok? Is my little sister going to be safe giving birth at the hospital in a few weeks? Will my mom lose her business? How can we celebrate a third birthday in a special way while being isolated at home?
It’s easy to get stuck in the news cycle and feel very hopeless about the world. I try very hard not to get stuck in the suck (been practicing that for a few years now.) But I was really struggling this weekend- the headlines really got to me.
Today, I was watching Daniel Tiger with my son as I frankly gave up on trying to keep a “school schedule.” The episode was based on the very famous quote from Fred Rogers that has been cycling around the internet for a few days:
While I was watching it with him, I couldn’t help but cry. Cry for everyone that will be hurt, for those that will pass away and lose businesses over this. But also cry at the beautiful part of humanity that is coming together and forcing good into this very awful situation. For all those helpers, all those people lending their talents and gifts to make the world better.
The question I keep asking myself is what do I hope for out of this? What brings me hope in the midst of panic? And the truth is that being a mom brings me so much fear right now- but being a mom also brings me the most hope. My son is HOPE living and breathing. His smile, the fact that he wakes up everyday and is happy. The fact that he is so naive to all that is going on because he’s still so young. It’s heartbreaking and beautifully hopeful all at once. Because to him, the world is still a good place.
Art also brings me hope. I’ve been so inspired by the creative community and the optimistic and beautiful pieces they are creating. My instagram feed is filled with messages of love, hope and beauty from illustrators and influencers. I’ve been working on a few pieces that I’ll share with a hopeful bend. Some of my favorite singers are hosting Facebook Live concerts and late night hosts are creating “at-home editions” to raise money for charity and bring levity to very heavy days- it’s been incredible.
We may not be through the worst of it and to be sure there are many more bad days to come, but I’m hopeful that maybe we’ve all found a little bit more perspective and can love one another a little bit more in the future world. Our children need that, we need that!